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One of the pages I wanted to write ever since I joined this community is finally complete…
Collab between Mctoran and
1000dumplings.
“Thanks for saving me again, mister…” The wanderer trailed off, not knowing what to call the mysterious being accompanying him.
“-Keymaster, you may call me…” He murmured in reply, seeming barely aware of his surroundings; almost as if in a catatonic state.
“Well…thank you, mister Keymaster…” The wanderer muttered. “-I’m Hubert, by the way…”
Hubert had found himself trapped in Level 26, before The Keymaster was able to lead him to safety. The two had been traveling together for a short amount of time, with The Keymaster escorting Hubert to a safe level where other people resided. Though he was thankful for the benevolence of this strange entity, he was still slightly put off by his cold and ambivalent demeanor. “How long have you been doing this?” Hubert asked, trying to make small talk.
The Keymaster wavered, turning towards Hubert and tilting his head in confusion. “Hmm…me?” He paused for a moment, deeply pondering the question, though his answer wasn’t exactly the most profound. “…A very long time”.
Hubert chuckled under his breath, as if intimidated. “How?” The Keymaster looked over to him again, as if confused by this line of questioning. “I mean…” Hubert clarified, “How haven’t you gone crazy after all this time? I haven’t been down here very long, and…” His voice trailed off, “I already feel… y’know…”
The Keymaster gave a knowing look to Hubert, nodding his head in understanding. He turned his head forward again, back to the path ahead. “The moment you surrender all notions of what is real in this world, is when you finally begin to feel sane. Insanity merely arises from attempting to understand that which was never meant to be…” He mused.
Hubert sighed with a smile, “I’ll keep that in mind”.
“Now, then, I believe that the entrance is somewhere nearby-” The Keymaster began to say, before trailing off as he noticed a rather out-of-place door nearby. “How peculiar…I do not recall this having been here before…” The Keymaster approached the mysterious door, feeling drawn to it as he unlocked it with a key and opened it. The door opened to a blank brick wall, with a piece of white paper taped to it. On the paper was a drawing of an ugly wrinkled face with a wide grin. “What… is that?” The Keymaster asked, squinting his eyes.
“I think that’s a trollface”, Hubert answered.
“-A what?”
Suddenly, the floor opened up beneath them, and the two plummeted down into the darkness below.
Eventually, The Keymaster opened his eyes, but he never recalled dreaming. He looked around, squinting as he strained to discern the details of the darkness around him. The first thing that came into focus was a black and white checker pattern on the floor and walls. He slowly wandered the winding passages and corridors, following the sound of maniacal cackling which grew louder as he drew nearer. Eventually, he entered a large room where he saw Hubert standing before a yellow and blue jester puppet.
The Game Master clenched her fist, and within seconds, a series of glowing red strings materialized around Hubert and ensnared him, violently pulling him upwards to meet her level. “Yes… I think I have the perfect game for you!”, she cackled, a devious grin displayed on her digital face.
The Keymaster looked up at the scene unfolding before him, and was not amused in the slightest. He stepped forward with a begrudging sigh, speaking up (literally) to The Game Master. “Put him down…” he demanded with a cold and detached voice.
The Game Master wagged her finger. “Aht-at-at-at, you’re- you’re not the main character here, shoo!” Not even bothering to look directly at him, she waved her hand dismissively in his general direction.
The Keymaster’s piercing glowing eyes squinted in frustration, especially towards the fact that she didn’t even seem to acknowledge who he was nor the reputation which preceded him. Losing his patience for the jester’s demeanor, he readied himself, clenching his fists and preparing to retaliate against her. “Now…”
The Game Master placed a hand on her chest, her mouth gaping open in mock shock. “GASP!!! Oh my Pantheon! Well, gee, if you say so!”, she loudly yelled out sarcastically, “I wouldn’t wanna piss THIS guy off!”. She abruptly released the strings suspending Hubert, letting his body fall to the ground. In a split second, The Keymaster no-clipped to the other side of the room, catching Hubert just before he hit the floor. “Wha- HEY!! I wasn’t gonna kill him! I had a whole trampoline thingy set up, you ruined everything!” she scoffed in an over-the-top annoyed voice. “Also you just saved a man, by the way. Grown ass man. That makes you gay. I’m allowed to say that because I’m queer, but that was very gay of you”.
The Keymaster stared blankly at The Game Master for several seconds, blinking a few times before responding. “Wh…what are you even rambling about?” He stammered with confusion.
“Hehehe… sorry, Key-boy, I’m a little bit neuro-spicy, so let me rephrase… You are interrupting my gaming sesh, and that crime is unforgivable! So now I’m going to dispose of you so I can get back to mentally – and perhaps physically – tormenting this random guy you have so graciously brought to me. Capisce?” She stared down The Keymaster, giving an innocent-looking smile.
“…No, why would I-”
Before he could finish his sentence, The Game Master pulled a random lever that happened to be sticking out of the ground, causing a loud mechanical cranking sound to echo throughout the level. In an instant, the floor opened up beneath The Keymaster, sending him falling down a deep, dark hole. “Have fun down there!”, she mocked, blowing a raspberry before the trap door closed. “Now then… where were we?” She growled, turning her head slowly over to Hubert, seeming to grow taller as the light in the level began dimming, emphasizing the red glow of her face.
Meanwhile, The Keymaster found himself again falling from a great height. Though, this time, he landed on a very conveniently placed trampoline. He bounded against it, causing an extremely cartoony ‘boing’ sound effect to play. As he caught his bearings, he looked around the new environment that he found himself in. He stepped forth into a massive room with an equally massive wooden door. It must have been at least thirty feet tall, almost resembling the door of a cartoonish medieval castle door, decorated with dark metallic nails and bearing a rounded top. The Keymaster’s eyes darted around the large dark space, before eventually fixating on something shiny on the ground. He kneeled down to investigate, and was met by a sight that was all too familiar to him: a small silver key on the ground. He picked it up to investigate it, realizing that whoever designed this key must have had no idea how locks actually work. It was as if it was plucked straight from a cartoon, having a perfectly circular bow and two extremely blocky chunks for teeth, being completely inaccurate and misshapen to a functional key. Far above him, the lights flickered on, revealing that the entire room was filled with keys, completely ranging in their types, and varying wildly in size - some tiny, others the size of buildings. “Ah, of course. How…apt.” The Keymaster deadpanned.
Out of nowhere, an analog television atop a wheeled shelf manifested between him and the massive door. It turned on to a static screen for a few seconds, before a slightly image of The Game Master’s face appeared. “Hello, Keymaster…if that even IS your real name! HAHAHAHAHA!!! This is a pre-recorded message. I had a feeling you and I would cross paths some day… CLEARLY, you wanted my attention, you even stole my naming convention! …Woah, did not mean for that to rhyme- ANYWAY! Since you decided to interrupt me, now you’re trapped here in one of my favorite games… find the right key, or stay trapped here FOREVER! I may be an evil jester entity from The Backrooms™, but I’m always fair! One of these keys will unlock the door to your freedom… Good luck, have fun!”
“Well, that is quite annoying…” The Keymaster uttered under his breath.
“I AM NOT ANNOYING!” barked The Game Master from the TV.
“Wha- I thought that was a pre-recorded message.” He stated bluntly.
“Uhh… it is! I just knew you would say that! You’re VERY predictable!”
“Mister Keymaster, please save me! She’s crazy!” Hubert’s voice cried from the background.
“SHUT UP-!” The Game Master yelled, before the TV abruptly shut itself off.
The Keymaster drew a long sigh, pinching his brow in frustration. He didn’t seem to be in too much of a rush to solve the puzzle, as his glazed-over eyes blankly stared at the keys littered about on the ground. He couldn’t help but scoff at the whole setup. Did she not know his whole schtick? He simply approached the door, raising his hand towards it. After a few seconds, the door unlocked itself, the massive weight of the wood and steel scraping against the floor. It slowly dragged against the checkerboard floor, causing a horrible screeching sound to reverberate throughout the massive space. Once the door was just slightly ajar, The Keymaster sidestepped through the tight opening. The massive door led to a comparatively miniscule hallway. The Keymaster stepped forward, hearing laughter in the distance. Right up ahead, he could see the two of them, Hubert and The Game Master. Ignoring how he fell down several stories and ended up on the same level he was when he first entered Level 389, he pressed onwards, being quite accustomed to the non-euclidian aspects of The Backrooms.
“I am afraid that I am not so easily rid of…” The Keymaster gloated as he strode forth.
The Game Master visibly scowled as she looked down upon The Keymaster. “Ugh, you’re no fun! That was supposed to take a long time to solve! Dirty cheater!” She stamped her feet, crossing her arms and displaying a pouting expression on her face.
“I don’t believe you are exactly in any position for moral grandstanding…” The Keymaster retorted, crossing his arms as well and raising a judgmental brow.
The Game Master scoffed, jerking her head from one direction to another as she rolled her neck, her doll-like joints audibly cracking. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, kiddo. Either you let me have this wanderer, or we fight to the death!” She proceeded to pull out a Comically Large Hammer™ seemingly from thin air, hoisting it over her shoulder. “So what’s it gonna be, key boy~?”
The Keymaster paused, before manifesting a large key-shaped sword in his hand. “I am not above the use of force…”
“HAH! Bring it on, then!”
With that, the two godlike backrooms entities with the word “master” in their names charged towards each other. All the while, a strange song played in the background, echoing throughout Level 389.
The Game Master swung her hammer down towards The Keymaster. However, The Keymaster was confused to see the hammer swing towards him incredibly slowly, almost as if in a slow-motion sequence in a movie. He easily sidestepped the hammer as it struck the ground where he previously stood, leaving a massive crater in the checker tiles. This repeated several times as their hammer and sword parried, with The Game Master becoming increasingly exhausted from the physical effort of wielding the enormous hammer. “-Ugh, screw this!” The Game Master growled exasperatedly as she tossed the hammer aside, instead manifesting a semi-automatic rifle and proceeding to spray a storm of bullets towards The Keymaster.
The Keymaster managed to evade most of the bullets by no-clipping, dodging them with quick reflexes and even deflecting them with his sword, though several managed to graze and even pierce him. He staggered back, temporarily stunned as his body regenerated itself and ejected the bullets lodged in him. Upon recovering, he instantly dove towards The Game Master, his key-sword poised to swing at her.
The Game Master simply stood there, scoffing and rolling her eyes with a smug smirk. LMAO, this chud really thinks he can beat me- she thought to herself, before suddenly being launched against the wall on the other side of the room by the force of The Keymaster’s blow, having been caught off guard.
The Game Master groaned as she struggled to stand, shaking her head as she regained her bearings. What the FUCK…why is he able to do that?! This guy is too dangerous, I gotta kill him NOW! A sly smirk crossed her face. “Okay…so that’s how it's gonna be, huh?” She said, trying to hide her internal panic. The Game Master began to fight more desperately, as if her life actually depended on it. She swung about the room by her puppet strings, landing in front of The Keymaster with a pair of boxing gloves suddenly materialized around her hands. She swung her fists at him, but The Keymaster weaved around each attempted blow and dodged her effortlessly, though a few managed to land. “FROM THE SCREEN TO THE RING TO THE PEN TO THE KING!” The singer’s voice echoed between each exchanged blow.
The Game Master realized that unlike her, The Keymaster was actually competent in combat and did not rely on godlike power alone. She thus opted to employ a more evasive strategy, baiting the Keymaster into attack and dodging each attack, in an attempt to wear him down to gain the upper hand. She molding reality around her, practically carving a through Level 389 and disappearing into it. The Keymaster pursued her through the tunnel, easily catching up to her as he no-clips to her precise location.
Cornered against the wall, The Game Master appeared to briefly display an expression of fear, before turning smug yet again. From behind her, she suddenly pulled out a very large, familiar-looking sword. The Keymaster’s eyes widened in recognition, realizing that The Game Master was starting to take this seriously. But then he realized… did that mean she was actually scared? Before he could dwell on the question any further, The Game Master suddenly lunged towards The Keymaster, and the two fiercely parried with their swords.
As The Game Master realized that The Keymaster still had the upper hand, she began resorting to petty tactics and tried hitting him below the belt. The Game Master then ran off yet again, with The Keymaster giving chase. Her desperation finally deepened to the point of employing her more cruel tricks…
The Keymaster ran through the tunnel, but suddenly stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a human woman standing before him. She was very beautiful, but also…familiar. “Brian?” She called out to him.
The Keymaster tilted his head in confusion, slowly approaching the woman. “Who? I…don’t understand.” Deep down, however, part of him did.
“Brian, honey, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you forever…don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me…” The woman said teasingly, smiling faintly.
The Keymaster narrowed his eyes at this subtle shift in demeanor. He suddenly pierced his key-sword through the women, causing the apparition to dissipate. “You aren't her…” He growled under his breath, though he himself didn’t even seem to know what he meant by those words.
The Keymaster looked to see The Game Master standing in place of the woman. Before The Game Master could even react, he bashed the pommel of his sword against her face and cracked the display screen, causing it to stutter and glitch. The Game Master cried out as she fell to her knees, clutching her cracked face as several shards of glass fell to the ground to reveal a ghoulish visage underneath. The Keymaster seized her by the throat with one hand, lifting her into the air. The Game Master struggled to laugh, though two voices emanated from her simultaneously. One was the cheery energetic voice she presented, now distorted from the damage sustained to her mask. The other, her real voice, was raspy and haunting, orchestrated by heavily damaged and strained vocal cords. The Game Master’s laughter failed to mask the fear in her eyes, and it seemed like she was about to speak, but The Keymaster stopped her. “If you say ‘harder’ or anything of the sort, then I shall actually kill you.”
“-Okay, okay! You win!” The Game Master sputtered.
“Let the human go freely.”
“What? no way! he didn't even win!”
“He was under my jurisdiction…” The Keymaster tightened his grip.
“Okay okay, fine! You win! fricken… third-partying…so lame.”
With that, Hubert suddenly appeared before them, looking confused at first before seeing The Keymaster, who tossed a key to Level 11 towards him. “Go through that wall over there. It shall lead you somewhere safe,” The Keymaster instructed.
Hubert nodded as he caught the key, proceeding to approach the wall and use the key to reveal a door into Level 11. “Thank you, mister Keymaster!” He called out, before passing through it.
With Hubert gone, the Keymaster finally released his hold on The Game Master, dropping her to the floor. She gasped breathlessly, choking and sputtering as she held her throat. “I- I don't get it. No one should be able to overpower me in my level. I'm practically Jesus here! How? How did you do it?” She panted, looking up at him.
The Keymaster simply shrugged, blankly staring down at The Game Master. “Perhaps we are of equal power, or similar nature. Though it matters little to me.”
“Oh, don't give me that 'we're not so different, you and I' ahh speech!” She scoffed.
The Keymaster’s demeanor seemed to shift, almost as if beginning to show a genuine desire to attempt to help The Game Master. “It seems you are still in need of many lessons which I had to learn for myself. You are trapped; not just here, but within your own mind…”
The Game Master laughed maniacally. “You actually think that bullshit matters? We're trapped in the fucking Backrooms! And you're wasting your time saving those little humans? It's pathetic.” She spat.
“Of course it matters. In fact, your opinion seems rich considering…” He motioned towards the very human face (or what remained of it) visible behind her mask. “Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as you only care about torturing people for your own amusement…”
The Game Master cackled. “EXACTLY! We're ALL getting tortured down here! At least when I do it, SOMEONE is getting some enjoyment out of it, hehehe…”
The Keymaster sighed, shaking his head with disapproval. “Perhaps one day, you shall understand…” With that, he turned on his heel and began to walk away.
The Game Master glared, silently seething as she clenched her fists and tried to hold back tears from forming in her charred eyes. Soyjak faces began flashing on what remained of her mask. “I- I used to be a big deal, you know…I was on a wiki that actually mattered! You’re fighting a losing battle, people only care about Kane! Can’t you believe he made all that when he was only sixteen?!” Her defiant cries fell on deaf ears as The Keymaster exited Level 389, vanishing and leaving her alone.
The Game Master bowed her head introspectively, considering The Keymaster’s parting words. Her lip quivered slightly before she stormed off, no-clipping through a wall into her room and slamming the door behind her. Darkness enveloped the level as the sounds of a video game can be heard echoing through the empty liminal space…
‘Hubert’ sighed with relief as he emerged into Level 11. “Ah, home at last…” He murmured, before chuckling to himself. “Wow, I can’t believe those two idiots really fell for it…” He brushed aside his hair to reveal a pair of horns, and his eyes glinted with their true orange color. With that, Hubris walked off into the night.